Stronger Than You Think: Processing Grief and Moving Forward with Melissa Watters

It's Episode 10 of Carrie's Always Talking! Can you believe we're in the double digits? This week, Carrie chats with her Aunt, Melissa Watters (Missy) about the sudden death of her husband, Darrin, 14 years ago. Melissa discusses the details of that life changing day and her journey to provide for her daughters while managing her immense grief. Her story is one of learning how to pivot after loss and finding a way to rebuild- It's also a story of finding strength that you never knew you possessed and how we all have that ability within us as well. It's an emotional and inspirational story. If you've been touched by loss, grab your tissues, and tune in. You don't want to miss this one. 

National resources for Grief and Loss:
https://www.ogr.org/national-grief-resources


If you have a story you'd like to tell, send me an email at carrie.always.talking@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you.

Facebook group- www.facebook.com/groups/carriesalwaystalking/

Transcript

Well, hello and welcome back. This is episode 10 of Carrie's Always Talking. I'm your host Carrie McNulty and this is a podcast all about stories and connections. I believe that stories are one of the main ways that when we share them with one another, we build empathy and humanity. And that is something I think we need more of in the world today. Well, I can't believe that I've already done 10 episodes of this, which is pretty cool and pretty exciting.

I did put a post out this week saying that I think I'm moving to bi -weekly at this point. It might pick up a little more in the winter, but I want to line up some more guests. And so if you're somebody who is listening and would like to come on and tell a story, please reach out. I will put my email in the show notes. There's a Facebook page. There's also an option to send fan mail. can't really, it's like texting into the show, but I can't really respond to that in any way.

which is kind of an interesting feature. I'm not really sure how I feel about that, but there are definitely ways to get in touch with me if you want to come on and I would absolutely love to hear from you. So please do look for that in the show notes. Today's story is by somebody who is very near and dear to me. It's my aunt. I'll call her aunt Missy through the podcast, but her name is Melissa Watters and she is somebody who

has been instrumental in my life for many reasons. She helped to raise my brother and I. She, I'd like to think is the influence of my life that gives me softer edges than what I would have had had she not been present. And truly, who's to say where I would have ended up or how I would have ended up without her influence and support and being there as a consistent, loving,

supportive influence in my life. So I can't speak highly enough of her and what she's been able to accomplish in her life was some very unexpected circumstances that you're gonna hear about today. I didn't know this when we recorded, but the day prior was National Grief Day. And so her story is one of her grief and recovery moving forward in life.

as much as one can recover from grief, but the loss of her husband in a very unexpected way about 14 years

ago.

In preparation of hearing her story, I came across a piece of writing in another group of mine, I think, kind of serendipitously, that really, I think if you reflect on this, while you're listening to her story, the two really fit together well. And it is by an author named Donna Ashworth, and it's titled A Piece of Their Soul.

You lose a version of yourself when a loved one leaves, but you will eventually greet a new version of yourself too when the days dissipates. The you who lives with that person inside, not out. The you who claims a part of them is a vital new part of you. The you who continues to shine their light into this world so it doesn't feel their loss quite as much. The you who is only really you because they were them. And the you...

And so you ensure they carry on existing. The you who takes their love, their light, their passion, and channels it into all you do from this moment onwards. You lose a version of you when someone special leaves, but I think you also gain a tiny piece of their soul to carry safely back home to them until you meet again.

I just really thought that was pretty and appropriate. Her story is a powerful one. It's an inspirational one. It shows that there's a path forward and through grief. So I hope that you enjoy listening and I'm not going to keep you waiting any longer. Let's get to it.

Carrie McNulty (00:00)

Hi, it Missy. Thank you for coming on the show and thank you for listening to it.

Melissa J Watters (00:02)

Hi, Carrie Ann

I love it and I love you.

Carrie McNulty (00:09)

Mm well, even better. I love you too. Whatever I was thinking about doing the show, to me what was important is hearing people's And you have a story that I think is pretty incredible, but also a story that I think could help other people. And unbeknownst to me, I just found out yesterday that it was National Grief Day yesterday. So I feel like it was appropriate.

Melissa J Watters (00:34)

wow.

Carrie McNulty (00:39)

for you to be coming on today, especially. I want you to feel as comfortable as you possibly can sharing your story. I know it's been many years, but still, grief is grief. So if something comes up for you that feels emotional, that's OK, because that's part of this. And it's OK if people feel upset when they're talking about something that's been hard in their life. So take us back in time.

Melissa J Watters (00:42)

Yes.

rate.

Great.

Carrie McNulty (01:08)

if you would and you know tell me and tell us a little bit about your story.

Melissa J Watters (01:15)

Well, I was very fortunate to find the love of my life in 1985. We got married in June of 1989.

Carrie McNulty (01:20)

Mm

Hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (01:30)

We had our first daughter in 1993, Lynsey And then we had a second daughter, Courtney, in 1997. My husband, Darrin, worked as a millwright, which what they do is they install stuff and they tear it down and they move it and they reinstall it. But he worked actually for a printing company.

Carrie McNulty (01:36)

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (02:00)

and installed printing presses. Now, he had done this, our whole, even dating, before we got married, so was well aware of, you know, this was his trade.

He typically would work in the United States and would travel like a week, maybe sometimes two, and be home like for three or four days. So I was very used to that. So my girls and I, course, had our routine, the things we did and stuff like that. As the kids got older, one was in baton and dance, the other one, I forced to be in baton.

Carrie McNulty (02:27)

Mm.

Mm -hmm.

It doesn't work! No. No.

Melissa J Watters (02:44)

didn't really care much for it, but she found her place. She did dance and she played softball. So it kept us busy when he was in her home, you know, but when he was home, it was definitely about me and the girls. He was a very good father, wonderful husband, like I said, my best friend. Yes, very devoted and he loved you just like one of his own.

Carrie McNulty (02:53)

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, very devoted. -hmm. Mm -hmm. Well, I mean, I kind of was like one of your first babies, you know? Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (03:13)

You were absolutely before my girls came around you and you and your brother definitely were a big part of our lives and still are of course I do think you think of you as a daughter I helped with raising you

Carrie McNulty (03:21)

Mm -hmm.

You

Mm -hmm.

You sure did. I always say to you, I don't know where we would have ended up if you weren't there. Like, you took care of us every morning before school, from kindergarten to like second grade. You know, you were the one getting us up, getting us ready, getting us there, doing all the stuff for us. I mean, you did much more than what an aunt would typically do, especially now, right? You were very involved. And thankfully, the...

Melissa J Watters (03:53)

Right, absolutely.

Well, I enjoyed it and I wouldn't have changed a thing. But back to Darrin. Darrin actually, like I said, did travel with his job and in August, well, we go back to like June, I should say June of 2010, they were contracted to do a job in Ecuador.

Carrie McNulty (04:00)

Yeah. Mm hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (04:24)

Again, he was never out of the country before, so of course all the paperwork had to be done and they got passports and he had to have... He went to his doctor and had a complete medical checkup and backtrack a little bit about that. Darrin was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at the age of 10. So his family doctor, of course, did a complete workup and of course they got the shots that they needed. I mean, he needed for his travel.

Carrie McNulty (04:27)

Right.

Yeah.

Mm

Melissa J Watters (04:54)

His doctor cleared him, said he was fine to go on this job. So the jobs actually started like in June of some, can't remember exactly the date that he first went. And then he was home for a little bit and it was around the 4th of July around in that area. Darrin Love Dogs. We had a black lab that had passed away.

Carrie McNulty (05:19)

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (05:22)

probably about three months before this job. And we actually went and picked up, picked out another dog, because he really wanted another dog. we started, that actually is kind of go back to what he was all about. family, the dog, everything in this, that about us.

Carrie McNulty (05:31)

Mm

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (05:52)

He was, it was all for us, everything he did. Well, anyhow, we had a dog and we had picked up this dog and he was getting used to it, you know, that he, a new dog and we were, the dog was already, you know, getting to know him and was really fond of him. And of course his name was Shadow. It was our second Shadow. I was the passed away, you know, previously. had, and this was Shadow three.

Carrie McNulty (06:04)

Mm

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (06:22)

And anyhow, had our normal Fourth of July festivities and that kind of stuff. And we were talking and he said, you know, I feel so much different when I'm home. He said, when we were in Ecuador, he says, I had some trouble like breathing and stuff. And he said, I couldn't understand like why that was happening.

Carrie McNulty (06:45)

Mmm.

Melissa J Watters (06:50)

I didn't understand what was happening. He did because he explained to me that Ecuador, where he was in Quito, which is in Ecuador, he was in the second highest elevation city in the world. It's like nine over 9 ,000 feet above sea level. So it contributed to some of his obviously this this breathing thing. But when he was home, he was fine. So after his

Carrie McNulty (06:59)

Mm

Wow.

Yeah.

Mm

Melissa J Watters (07:20)

that time home, decided that, well, obviously it was time he had to go back to the job. And he was working at that job again in Ecuador, traveled back. And he called me on the morning of August 2nd and he said, I don't feel well. And I said, like, what's happening? Because he said, I don't know, I'm dizzy, I'm nauseated. He says, I keep throwing up.

Carrie McNulty (07:39)

Hmm.

Mmm.

Melissa J Watters (07:50)

And says, I have a headache. And I said, well, what are you going to do? And he said, well, I sent the crew ahead with the interpreter because I can't work this way. And now he was a foreman of this job, but he said, I sent them ahead and told them to head and I would see if I felt better. would join them, but otherwise I'm going to take the day. That wasn't him. He never took a day off of work. Never. So I, it didn't sit with me all day.

Carrie McNulty (08:02)

Yeah.

Mm -mm. Mm -mm.

Melissa J Watters (08:19)

So of course throughout the day, I need to backtrack though. Every day he would call me and the girls on our way to school. I would drop in the girls off for school. We all talked to them every morning. And then, like I said, he called me later that day and said that's when he was telling me he didn't feel well. And I said, well, you need to get, you probably need to get an emergency room or you need to get me looked at. I said, this is really concerning me.

Carrie McNulty (08:20)

Yeah.

Mm

Melissa J Watters (08:48)

And he said, well, I'm just going to lay down for a while and I'm sure we'll get better. And I asked him at that point, I said, what's going on with your sugars? Have you checked your sugars? He said, they're fine. And I said, okay, well, you know, if you're not eating, don't take your sugar, your insulin, because he was the kind of diabetic that not, didn't, it didn't happen often, but if he had an incident, was usually he ran low, not he ran high. So throughout the day,

Carrie McNulty (09:03)

Yeah, insulin.

Yeah. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (09:18)

I checked in with him and I could hear in his voice that he was having some labor breathing and that was getting really concerning to me. And I said, Darrin, you need to go to the emergency room. And he said, I will. I said, well, where's the interpreter? And he said, still on the job site. And I said, okay, well, you need to get a hold of somebody. Now he did have a friend that he worked with.

Carrie McNulty (09:42)

Mm

Melissa J Watters (09:45)

a lot that actually was closer to our area. He lived in Lewistown and they would travel sometimes together, DJ. And I asked him at that point, where was DJ? He said, DJ is actually at a different site about 300 miles from us. And I said, So then right away, I was very concerned. DJ knew his history. DJ had experienced his history.

Carrie McNulty (10:02)

wow.

Melissa J Watters (10:13)

of going low and I it just didn't sit with me all day. So in the evening then I of course stopped at the grocery store and as luck would have it I came out from the grocery store and someone had hit my car and did my tail light in and so I was like great. So I thought I'm not telling him this there's enough going on. if you you need to stop right about that.

Carrie McNulty (10:16)

Mm -hmm.

Ugh.

Yeah. And I just have to say.

Melissa J Watters (10:40)

Tell them about how Uncle Darrin was with his cars.

Carrie McNulty (10:40)

Right

was just gonna say, I have to interject to say that my uncle Darrin, you could not stop at my aunt Missy's house. Mind you, I still don't wash my car really to this day, but if I stopped with my 92 Mercury Tracer at her house, it was gonna be washed and it was gonna be detailed. And that was just the way it is. And he was meticulous with his vehicles. That was something he really enjoyed. That was sort of like his tinkering, right? Like when he was home and he was doing stuff in the garage, was.

cleaning the cars and like taking care of things to just this really high degree. And so I could only imagine, I'm sure you were like, I'm absolutely not telling him, I'm stressing him out right now about this in the car. But yeah, funny that even then like he's on your mind, right? You can't even go to the store and then something happens and you're like, yeah, yeah.

Melissa J Watters (11:19)

That's exactly right.

Yes. So I come home and of course I get weak girls and I get something to eat and I call him again and he sounds worse. And I said, Darrin, you must get to the emergency room. I don't know how you're going to, you need to. He says, at that point, Courtney got on the phone. She was upset. She's like, daddy, please go to the emergency room. know, mommy's worried, we're worried. And he said,

Carrie McNulty (11:41)

you

Mm -hmm.

Mm

Melissa J Watters (11:54)

And I got back on the phone and I said, are you going to go? And he said, I'm going, honey, I'm going. He said, don't worry, I'm going to the emergency room. So we kind of left it go for like an hour or two, you know, trying to just wait, you know, obviously going to the emergency room in a foreign country was going to be a difficult task anyhow.

Carrie McNulty (11:59)

Okay.

Melissa J Watters (12:16)

And I'm thinking that the crew was back by then and obviously hoping that the interpreter went with them. The whole thing just was kind of foreign to all of us. Like, what do we do? What do we do? Lynsey had several years of Spanish. She, of course, was like, mom, we need to call some hospitals. She's on the phone with the computer, on the computer looking for phone numbers.

Carrie McNulty (12:30)

Mm

Mm

Mm

Melissa J Watters (12:46)

Calling a hotel, you know, we didn't even know what hotel he was in. That was the other thing. We weren't, I mean, we knew what hotel he was in, I'm sorry, but we didn't know what hospital he would go to. You know, we don't have any idea what's close or whatever. So she's calling all these different hospitals. And of course, we're not getting anywhere. So a little bit time passes and I said, hey, Lyns let's call the hotel. Have them.

Carrie McNulty (12:55)

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (13:14)

maybe they know something. So she calls and the woman on the phone just keeps hanging up on her basically says, you know, she can't understand her or they're having some issues and it just got very frustrating. So we started again calling his cell phone and it was no, there was no answer, no answer.

Carrie McNulty (13:15)

Mm

Mmm.

Melissa J Watters (13:36)

So it was about 8 o 'clock. It was just getting to be dark and my phone rang and it was his phone number. So I was like, thank God, thank God. So I pick up the phone and this...

gentleman says to me, said, is he all right? he all right? You know, because it wasn't there. And I said, can you tell me what's going on? He said, I think he's passed. I said, excuse me.

Carrie McNulty (14:04)

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (14:13)

I he's passed. I gotta back up. First of all, Courtney actually answered the phone first time. he didn't, she called, Courtney called him and this guy didn't like wanna talk to her and kind of like, so I then called back and it's kind of fuzzy because I'm thinking they called us, but there were so many phone calls back and forth that it's kind of getting a little distorted.

Carrie McNulty (14:36)

Mm -hmm. yeah.

Melissa J Watters (14:41)

But actually, Courtney actually called and this guy kind of just, that answered the phone, wasn't very good with her. And then I called back and I said, is Darrin's wife, can you please tell me how he is and what's going on? And he just said he thinks he's passed. And I was like, what, excuse me, what do you mean? And I said, are you at the hospital with him? And he says, no, we're at the hotel. I'm like, what?

Carrie McNulty (14:53)

Mm

Melissa J Watters (15:09)

And so then he, I kind of just was like in a daze. So I was like, I got to, I hung up and I was like, I'm calling this guy back. Maybe somebody else will answer. And I had been in touch with DJ a couple of times that day too with my, I guess my anxiety of what was going on. mean, obviously it just was not sitting well with me. And I called DJ first and I said, DJ, I don't know who's answering Darrin's phone, but

Carrie McNulty (15:25)

Mm -hmm

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (15:39)

Need to know what's going on and he said missy. was just gonna call you and I said, okay, what's going on? He said I'm on my way back to Quito he said and I forget what the interpreter's name was, but he said his name and he said they got back to the hotel and They tried to get a hold of him and he

Carrie McNulty (15:55)

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (16:05)

He wouldn't answer his door, so they had to get the hotel staff to open them and they found him.

Carrie McNulty (16:10)

Mm

Melissa J Watters (16:11)

And that's what the God was trying to tell me. It was past and he didn't, and we didn't have any idea of what had happened other than I knew he wasn't feeling well. And it just hit me like a brick. I was like, this is not happening. And I started to scream and like, and of course all I could think about is my girls. And I had to go over, we actually live right beside, we built a house right beside my in -laws and I had to go and tell his parents.

Carrie McNulty (16:25)

Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (16:40)

And yeah, it was not a good day, August 2nd of 2010. my first

Carrie McNulty (16:47)

No.

Melissa J Watters (16:54)

thing I thought about was my girls.

Carrie McNulty (16:57)

Yeah, of course.

Melissa J Watters (16:59)

They loved their dad so much and I can't even imagine like what they were going through. My pain was bad but my pain was double for them. And so they were my drive from that point on. My grieving was pretty much I tried to do it in...

Carrie McNulty (17:12)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (17:28)

alone. would do it. I tried not to cry or tried not to express too much in front of them because I didn't want to upset them. You know, the next few days were, next week basically was a whirlwind until we got all the paperwork. Fortunately, his company did pay to have him transported back to the States. And

Carrie McNulty (17:30)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

yeah.

Melissa J Watters (17:56)

Our funeral director was wonderful. I mean...

They and ever the community my kids had some really good print have some really good friends and I have some good friends and we definitely had a good support system at the time My kids and actually me were not ever through had ever went through Something like this other than when my mom passed away and that was like In 2002

Carrie McNulty (18:06)

Mm -hmm.

right.

Right, and we had lots of time to prepare for grandma. We knew what... Right, yes. Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (18:32)

Yes, and we knew Grandma was out. But something like this, we just had no idea this is our day. Our lives completely changed that day. It went from the four of us to the three of us, like overnight.

Carrie McNulty (18:45)

Mm -hmm. Right. And thinking that you have this solid family unit, normal for him to be gone for a couple of weeks, all of that normal, and then all of a sudden, like you said, flipped upside down, and what are you gonna do from here? What do you do? How do you go forward? And so I think, from my perspective, this time period was blurry for me because I was at the end of my cancer treatment.

Melissa J Watters (19:02)

Exactly.

Carrie McNulty (19:14)

So I wasn't fully present anyway, you know, for a lot. But knowing our family history, you're right, from my perspective, this was the first time any of you had faced anything like this. And I think some of the feelings and thoughts that everybody sort of thought, know, Missy, she has a charmed life. this is, you know, this and that. And I don't think you knew what you were made of until this situation, right?

Melissa J Watters (19:43)

Yeah, I agree too. mean, first of all, whole, like I said, the whole thing I thought about was, of course, is my girls. They have to be taken care of. it has, as silly it might sound to people, I mean, I guess it's not, but I guess it's selfish. did not, this house was not going. My house was not going to be lost. I mean, obviously this was definitely a financial burden also.

Carrie McNulty (19:54)

Yeah.

Mm -mm.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (20:13)

I you I don't, you know, want to, it's not sugarcoated at all, but basically my job paid for my girls to dance and play and do for the extras. My husband's salary was paid the bills. Yes, and it was substantial. So it was not like I was going to be like, okay. So of course, when they did get it, we got all the paperwork.

Carrie McNulty (20:13)

yeah.

Yes. Yeah.

It was substantial and it paid the bills. Yes.

Melissa J Watters (20:42)

done and got him flown back and of course did this, had the services and stuff. There was a period of time that it took a while to realize to me like he's not coming back because we were used to him being away. Is that, and that's awful to think that I just went through that, that I was like, he's just at work.

Carrie McNulty (20:43)

Mm

Mm

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

don't think it... it's...

No, that's so normal in a grieving process too, is that they're still in shock about it. Like I said, with grandma or with anybody else that we've had that there's been a long ongoing illness, you sort of know it's coming, doesn't make it easier, but we do some anticipatory grief. You didn't have the chance. One minute your life was one way and literally the next minute it was something totally different that you were never prepared for. So our brains do the best they can to protect us. And because he traveled so much, it was almost like an added layer of protection for you that...

was a good thing because it allowed time for it to sink in for you. I don't think that it was, it would have been the same if he worked from home every day and was gone all of the sudden. You know what I mean? Like you, you had that time that was sort of a little bit of a cushion there. Your brain was sort of protecting you to think, well, he's just away right now. And you know, and eventually he'll be back. And then it wasn't until more time went on.

Melissa J Watters (22:01)

Yeah.

Carrie McNulty (22:05)

and more things would happen, holidays, birthdays, these sorts of things, that it becomes more real that, okay, this is not somebody traveling, this is that he's actually gone and he isn't coming back. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (22:14)

And you know, I know everybody has their different beliefs, but you know, my mother -in -law and my husband, we grew up in Christian homes and my faith actually, I kept thinking back, I think God prepared me for this. I married a man that was jobbed, that traveled a lot, and I think he prepared me to be an independent mother.

Carrie McNulty (22:25)

Mm

Hmm.

Mm -hmm

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (22:42)

When this all happened, Lynsey was going to be starting her senior year of high school. Courtney was in the last of her middle school. So a lot of things happened that year, of course. He wasn't here for Lynsey's graduation, of course her prom, a lot of things that would have been

Carrie McNulty (22:49)

Mm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (23:12)

you know, moments for him and seeing her off to college and, you know, of course, you know, later in years, of course, the same thing is happening for Courtney and I do that all the time and my kids will tell you, do you know our names? Because I'll just back and forth. I don't have to say that because, my gosh, I just like, yeah, sometimes I, you know, and I had, we had,

Carrie McNulty (23:13)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

But that's a carry over from grandma. Remember, she would do the same. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (23:39)

And as I have to go back to the dog, the dog, you know, God loved him. He was so sad too. He missed his dad so much. He would sit at the big bow window in our living room and he'd put his chin on the window and look and look and wait for him. So we ended up getting him a friend and so we had two dogs then and I would do the same thing with them. I'd mix the two of their names up together. So yeah.

Carrie McNulty (23:45)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Wait.

Mm

Mm

Melissa J Watters (24:09)

But I think I was prepared to point to already, because that was our lifestyle. I was already kind of a single mom, but not financially. The financial part of it actually, and it was hard because my girls were definitely used to having things. And we had to do a lot of things like refinance my home and get a better budget.

Carrie McNulty (24:13)

Yeah.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

No.

Yes.

Mm

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (24:37)

God, my girl stepped up though. I can't tell you how proud I am of them.

Carrie McNulty (24:43)

Absolutely. Well, you know, it is such a testament to how close the three of you were. I mean, yes, of course, Uncle Darrin and everybody loved him. But like you said, he wasn't an everyday fixture. And the fact that you were so solid and really, quite honestly, such a good mom, you know, made your kids want to figure out how you were going to do this as a team. You know, like they had you and you had them.

Melissa J Watters (25:08)

You're right. And so they both got jobs, you know, worked and helped pay for their cars and car insurance. And I think it prepared them to for it.

Carrie McNulty (25:13)

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

I agree. I always say that things were not easy for me, but I wouldn't have it any other way because it did make it easy. You have the benefit of somewhat having been raised by Jackie as well for a period of time. So just to share, my mom is 13 years older than my aunt Missy. Aunt Missy is 13 years older than me and I am 13 years older than her daughter, Lynsey. And so had I had a child at 26, which I was never gonna do, and it would have been a girl, then we would have kept this whole thing going.

Melissa J Watters (25:34)

I did!

Yeah.

Carrie McNulty (25:52)

My mom really helped in especially in my aunt Missy's younger years and raising her and my mom's philosophy even before she went through everything that she went through was one of the perspective of being that life is an easier fair. And I always say that I, you know, maybe could have used a little bit more positivity, but it really prepared me for what I was going to face. And it shows the girls having to go through what they went through with Uncle Darrin did change them.

Melissa J Watters (26:14)

absolutely.

Carrie McNulty (26:20)

And I'm sure that if we could go back in time, we would make it so that that never happened. But there are things that they learned and things that they figured out about themselves and what they could handle and what they could face that is, I think, necessary and important in life. Like I said, you might not have ever known what you were made of. And not that we would have ever wanted this to happen. But you were able to pick yourself up, keep this certain level of hope.

Melissa J Watters (26:42)

Right.

Carrie McNulty (26:49)

and faith and positivity about yourself and create like because you are you, you did have a network of people around you, a village around you, these friends and people who wanted to be there for you and you figured it out. You did it yourself in a lot of ways. Like you figured out how to pay the bills. You figured out how to keep the house. You figured out how to continue to take care of your girls and keep them first. I mean, it's pretty miraculous.

Melissa J Watters (27:13)

Thank you honey. But like I said, and you're right, I did have a village. And one of those biggest factors was that

Carrie McNulty (27:15)

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (27:27)

I had trouble asking for help though. And it takes me back to my sister because like I said, I always said how strong of a person she was because I admired her and always said her strength was one of her best qualities. I honestly, I didn't know I had it in me. I mean, I had, I knew I had.

Carrie McNulty (27:32)

Yeah.

yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (27:57)

You know, I could do things on my own, but to actually do what I had to do, didn't think I had it. You know, I was fortunate too. Yeah.

Carrie McNulty (28:04)

Yeah, mom, yeah, mom was strong in the way that she could take a lot physically, but asking for help was her struggle too, as it was yours, as it was mine, as it's Dan's, it's, you know, and because she couldn't have done what she did for us if not for you, and if not for her parents, there just would have been no way. Yeah, mm -hmm, yeah.

Melissa J Watters (28:25)

Right. And that's what I'm to say. My dad was my rock. He really was. And so was my mother -in -law. My mother -in -law was a very special lady. And I actually thought that at times I'd sit there and think about my grief and how I was feeling. And obviously, again, I did this a lot alone. But I would think to myself, I know I hurt. I know my girls hurt.

Carrie McNulty (28:32)

Yeah. Yes, she.

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (28:54)

But can you imagine losing a child? I just can't. I can't imagine losing one of my two girls. So that's where I kept thinking, she's doing it, I need to do it. I mean, there's no, you know, reason I can't. And I would go over there, there'd be many times I'd go, hey, I need a little bit of motivation here, or I need some strength there from you. And she would talk me down off the ledge.

Carrie McNulty (28:54)

Mm -hmm.

No. No. No.

Yeah.

Well, and Joan was a, she was a straight shooter. So you were going to get that from her. You were going to get whatever you needed and then some from Joan.

Melissa J Watters (29:29)

Absolutely, absolutely. And you know, a lot of people would say, I can't believe you live beside your in -laws. Isn't that hard? And I'm like, I can go whole week without seeing them. If I need them, I know they're there. I just, that's the kind of relationship we had. But she was definitely a good person to talk to. And also during this grief and this, I don't know if a lot of people are aware of this,

Carrie McNulty (29:37)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yep.

Mm Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (29:58)

There's all kinds of groups out there or support systems that you can find. And my kids were fortunate enough to go to a program called the Healing Patch. they actually would go there and what wasn't great about the situation is that they were so close in age that they were both in the same sessions. So they didn't feel like they were getting much in. But for me,

Carrie McNulty (30:02)

Mm -hmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (30:26)

I would sit with other parents and then I would hear their stories of what was going on and you know what? I always think I had it bad but there was somebody had it worse. You know the stories you'd hear about their lives or or like I said even if they would had to sit and watch their dad die like of a terrible disease like cancer or something you know something like that. Again it wasn't no way to die.

Carrie McNulty (30:38)

Yeah

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (30:56)

and to lose somebody is better than the other. No. And people would ask me, well, you know, would you have preferred to watch them? No, I wouldn't have any of it. I mean, seriously, you know, none of this should have happened. I was expecting to be married for 50 some years with my parents, you know? Because I found a man that was really, really, really like my dad. And that's what I wanted.

Carrie McNulty (30:57)

Yeah.

I was gonna say you were per - right.

50 years. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I mean, that's.

And for you, yes, he was all for you. He was about you. You were it for him. And I'm lucky enough to know that feeling now, but I didn't get it right the first time. right. But I think it's a weird question to ask somebody. Would you have rather? mean, what the? Sorry, but what?

Melissa J Watters (31:35)

Yes, I agree.

Yeah, exactly. Why would you even? I think when people are talking to somebody that's been through loss, they don't know what to say. Sometimes I think it's just better not to anything.

Carrie McNulty (31:53)

Agreed, agreed.

yes, yes. That's always an option and an appreciated one, you know? Or saying, I don't know what to say. I can't imagine what you're going through. You know, yeah. You don't have to come up with something like, what would you have rather? mean, like you said, I'd rather it not have happened at all, but thank you for asking me. don't... No. Yeah, yeah.

Melissa J Watters (32:01)

Exactly.

Right, that's it. You don't have to, you know.

I mean, this wasn't like right after it happened, but it'd like, you know, years later or whatever, but still, I mean, still fresh. mean, it's always, there's always a day that it might be a week, but there's always some time that something brings, brings something up, a memory, a song. mean,

Carrie McNulty (32:29)

Yeah.

my gosh. Yes.

Melissa J Watters (32:38)

smell I mean I had a episode when I was at a football game and I was amongst like numerous people and I turning around and I keep smelling this smell and it's it was my husband's cologne it was Darrin's cologne and I knew I smelled it and my sister -in -law yeah my sister -in -law Becky was right beside me and she's like I smell it too because she knew when I was

Carrie McNulty (32:44)

Mm.

wow.

Well, he wanted you to know he was there too.

Melissa J Watters (33:06)

keep turning and looking and she goes, I smell it too. So I wasn't crazy. You know what I mean?

Carrie McNulty (33:08)

Mm -hmm. Yeah. No, and he was there with you at the game. You know? I do think... No, no. Yeah, well, and that's how grief is. You're rolling along, you're living your life, and then it comes like a wave and smacks you in the face. You know, something happens, you hear a song, there's a smell, there's a place that you went that you have a memory all of a sudden that flashes back to a time that you went there with that person, and it's...

Melissa J Watters (33:14)

He, yeah. Would he typically been with me at the game? No, but he was that night, you know.

Carrie McNulty (33:38)

People, when they say time heals everything, is not true. You learn how to live with it better. You have more acceptance around it. And you get better in that you figured out how to live your life without that person. But it doesn't hurt less. It doesn't hurt less.

Melissa J Watters (33:44)

Yes.

No, no, it definitely doesn't hurt less. And it's been 14 years now, but like I said, I can account pretty much for that whole day and the days after and the months after. like I said, the girl, know, and then my youngest daughter, Courtney finds the love of her life and she actually came to me and said, mom, Tyler and I want to get married before.

Carrie McNulty (34:01)

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Yes.

Melissa J Watters (34:22)

while he's being trans. He was in the military and he was going to South Dakota and she said, we want to get married before he goes to South Dakota. I don't want him to have to go alone. And I said,

Carrie McNulty (34:25)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (34:37)

It took a lot of strength for me to go through that too because I was like, is my baby and she's 18 years old and she wants to get married. I mean, even me getting married at 22, I thought was young, but I'm letting an 18 year old get married.

Carrie McNulty (34:43)

Yes. Right.

Yeah. Hey, in that respect, she's just following in our tradition. know, mom did it at 19. I did it at 23, got divorced at 24. You know, you did it young, you did it at 22. So she wasn't really that far off, but...

Melissa J Watters (34:55)

Yeah

Yes.

No, she really wasn't. But you know what? She had her head on straight. She knew, dead on, that I had already struggled financially putting one child through college. She said, Mom, I can go to... I said, what about school? You know, right away I'm thinking, you know you need to have some kind of education because you know you can't depend on a man. You don't know what's going to happen. You have to...

Carrie McNulty (35:17)

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah, that. Yes. Yes.

Melissa J Watters (35:35)

worry about you. And she, mom, I have it figured out. She says, if I marry Tyler and the military can put me through school. And she was right. She went to school and they've been married in September. They'll be married nine years and they have two beautiful children. And you know what? It worked out. My anxiety about the whole thing.

Carrie McNulty (35:47)

And she did. She went to school. Yep. Yep.

I know, it was 2015.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah. Well, part of that was knowing he wasn't going to be here for any of this, too. You know, it's another big milestone of something happening where he should have been there and wasn't as hard as well. You know, and a wedding is a big deal.

Melissa J Watters (36:05)

No.

absolutely.

Right. absolutely and I had to we had to plan it three months.

Carrie McNulty (36:21)

Yes, yeah, I

Melissa J Watters (36:24)

But fortunately, she didn't want anything big. She just wanted her friends and family. And she just wanted to marry her love and start a life. it was hard, because at that time, believe, Lynsey was... she was definitely graduated from college, but she was doing a college program through Disney. And then she came home.

Carrie McNulty (36:28)

No.

Mm -hmm. And she did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (36:53)

So it was kind of, it did work out because when Courtney left, Lynsey was back. So I wasn't alone, but no.

Carrie McNulty (36:58)

Yeah, yeah, no. Well, and I wonder if we could talk a little bit about what you have have built for yourself and what your life looks like now.

Melissa J Watters (37:11)

Absolutely. So, you know, I continued to work where I was working and I made some, you know, good friends there and support there. And I started then doing a lot more things with my friends and doing, I'm very fortunate that way too. I have some really good friends and I started a workout program. I started to focus on being healthier and

Carrie McNulty (37:17)

Mm

Mm

Mm

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (37:42)

And obviously, I am still taking anxiety medicine because I think before this all happened, I probably had an issue. Well, I definitely had OCD about stuff. I do know that. But my poor kids, they weren't allowed to have toys in their rooms, no toys in living room.

Carrie McNulty (37:47)

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Melissa J Watters (38:01)

I just started working out, getting healthier for myself and now I do some cookies, decorate cookies and sell those for, you know, it's all, I mean, it's hard to say it's about me now because I, but I do, I do try to do more for me because it's, you know, it's unhealthy to just dwell on everything. I mean, things suck.

Carrie McNulty (38:17)

Mm

Yes.

Yeah. Yes.

Melissa J Watters (38:30)

at times. You know, since Darrin left, passed. Of course, then I lost my mother -in -law and then I lost my sister.

Carrie McNulty (38:35)

Mm -hmm

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (38:47)

my best friend and then I recently lost my dad so it was just like a within you know a lot and with each of those losses I tried to stay positive and thinking that you know there was a reason I mean my mother -in -law wasn't ill anymore I realized that my dad was had a wonderful 91 years I mean

Carrie McNulty (38:52)

It was a lot.

Mm.

But let's be honest, since grandma left, he really wanted to be with her too. So I don't think, you know, yeah.

Melissa J Watters (39:15)

I and it's true he kind of I kind of joked myself thinking that she was probably up there wanting to know what the took him so long. Yeah because I mean he did a lot for her. I that's why said I think Darrin and my dad were very much alike you know because they were my dad did a lot.

Carrie McNulty (39:26)

and where her ice water, she wanted to know where her ice water was.

huh.

Mm -hmm. Right.

Melissa J Watters (39:44)

and took care of my mom really well. And honestly, I hope I was more appreciative than my mother was.

Carrie McNulty (39:47)

Yeah.

Well, listen, it wouldn't have, not to be rude, but it wouldn't have taken much. And you absolutely were. And especially, would say with Pap, like you got to be so close with him, you know, especially after Uncle Darrin passed. Not that you weren't before, you were the baby, you know? But like, he really stepped up and was there and helped with the girls and helped with you. And you know, grandma wasn't here anymore by that point. So you gave him...

Melissa J Watters (40:11)

Absolutely.

Carrie McNulty (40:17)

I think a real purpose and a real drive to be here because he was really depressed when she died and he wasn't really sure how he was gonna go on. And being able to help you and be there for the girls really gave him drive and purpose and he loved doing that and the dogs too.

Melissa J Watters (40:24)

And rates, right.

I was just going to say, what would he have done without my dogs?

He came help he came every day two times a day and let them out Yes, he made sure my girls were got on the bus. They made sure my girls got to their activities You know II do I do I am that fortunate that I had him because like I said he did a lot for me and you know

Carrie McNulty (40:43)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yep.

Yes.

Yeah, we were all lucky to have him. did that. He stepped up and did. yeah. Yep. Yep. Yes. Yes. He was. And so, you you got to be so close with him. And then unfortunately he passed and then, you know, mom, they were close together and they're passing and then Wendy. And then, yeah, there was a lot all for you in a short period of time. And.

Melissa J Watters (41:05)

absolutely, he it for you and Dan too. You had to go to practice, he took you, he'd take Dan to baseball games. mean, was all about everybody, especially his grandchildren. I mean.

Yes.

That's when I thought, know, it's now that my, I did a lot for my dad when he was, he actually got ill right after my mom died and he had colon cancer and he had to have a colostomy and I had to be the one that would change that every week. And eventually, you know, Courtney of course learned and helped and eventually he just said to me one day, I think I'll do it myself. And I taught him and he started doing it himself. But he was to say my, my point with that is,

Carrie McNulty (41:39)

Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (42:05)

I was fortunate enough that I could give back to him from doing a lot for me. You know what I mean? it just, and after he passed, that's when I really, really thought to myself, I got to think about me now. mean, and I do, I do try to do stuff and I'm going on a trip soon with my best friend, Karen. And I feel like financially I've been fortunate

Carrie McNulty (42:08)

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yes.

Melissa J Watters (42:34)

that I'm able to work overtime. My employer lets me work overtime, so I'm able to bank some money for savings. It's still, I would say, still not obviously close to what we were used to, but you learn to adapt to the situation. like I said, you just have to.

Carrie McNulty (42:38)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Now...

Yes.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (43:02)

You know, when we were at that healing patch, there was this big plaque on the wall that would say, you don't know how strong you are until being strong is your only option. And I still just stay, always think about that because, you know, there's days I'll still like, said, my God, how am going to, like the hot water tank is, my God, what am I going to do? Or, you know, something goes wrong with my car and you know, what am going to do? But somehow it works out. You just got to, you know, figure it out.

Carrie McNulty (43:11)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (43:32)

That is going on.

Carrie McNulty (43:32)

and get creative. I mean, I think you always were creative, but the stuff you do with cookies is incredible. think, I get, like, you figuring that out and, like, like, I'm sure at one point you would have never thought baking was gonna be your thing or decorating cookie, but you figured, like, you're like, okay, I have to come up with a way to make it work here and this is something that I can do. And you do a really awesome job with it. I mean, it's, yeah, I mean.

Melissa J Watters (43:38)

haha

Thanks. And you know, actually it's very therapeutic. And people was like, what are you talking about? I kind of like, the baking genes must be in me anyhow, because my mom was a baker. So I mean, I won't say I'm a really good cook and Courtney will tell you that too. There's some things I can cook, but as far as baking, I'm a baker and I do like to bake. But the cookie situation, when I went to my very first class, I thought, you know what, this is really fun.

Carrie McNulty (44:08)

It is. Yes.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (44:26)

And everybody's like, this isn't working out or they're stressing. like, you know what? I don't feel that. can, it's honestly, you know, baking them and then sitting down and starting to decorate them. It's just like this weight is lifted off my shoulders. I was just, can sit there and just relax and do something that, and it's very therapeutic for me.

Carrie McNulty (44:31)

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, you go in the zone, you're mindful. You're just sorta like time passes and you're chilled out and you're, yeah, I mean, you're in the flow of it. And that's one way you know that you're a creative person too, is that you just sorta feel in your element when you're doing that and time just passes and I think it's great. And again, clever way to come up with making some extra money too because people are always wanting you to, putting in orders for things, so.

Melissa J Watters (44:49)

Yes.

Absolutely, yes. I thought you're right. Like I said, it's just, you know, but.

Carrie McNulty (45:16)

So if somebody were to say to you, hey, I recently lost my husband and I have two kids, what would you tell them? What would you say to them because you've been through this experience? What advice, what would you say to them to help them move forward?

Melissa J Watters (45:34)

Well, definitely your focus, I mean, your focus has to be on those kids. I mean, they are your priority. And I understand that you're grieving also, but when it comes to your kids, you have to realize that they need you to be there for them. Because I will tell you, my children, especially Courtney,

Carrie McNulty (45:38)

Mm

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (46:03)

really had a hard time with worrying about something was going to happen to me then. You know what mean? Because it was like, my God, she'd come over every night and say, Mom, are you OK? Are you OK? I'm like, yeah, honey, I'm fine. All right. And she'd go back to bed. And she'd come back a lot of restless nights for that young lady, for her. was, I mean, she was 13, you know? And there were other issues that she would be concerned about.

Carrie McNulty (46:08)

Yeah, of course.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, really brought. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (46:33)

you know, didn't want obviously someone coming in and being me dating and having someone take her place over dad, which you have to make sure they realize that if it comes to a point that you want to date, you have to make sure your kids understand nobody is going to be your dad, their dad. And for me personally, I've tried the thing. I don't care. I don't care less for it. Honestly, I'm content.

Carrie McNulty (46:40)

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Not for you. Yeah.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (47:02)

And that's the other thing is everybody is different that way. Some people need that. I am content being by myself. Again, my children were my priority now. I have grandchildren. I have lots of things to keep me busy. I don't have to, you know, worry about that. I told, that's what I told Courtney whenever I told her to get her education. You don't, you just, never know what's going to happen. You never do. And that's what happened.

Carrie McNulty (47:07)

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

You don't need a man. Well.

Agreed. Agreed.

Melissa J Watters (47:30)

We were perfect family of four, always were traveling on vacation to Disney World every two years. did, you know, spend a lot of money. have nice cars, nice house. And then for it to be taken away from you just like that.

Carrie McNulty (47:33)

Mm

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm

Melissa J Watters (47:52)

am thankful that I knew how to take care of me and my girls. Because you just never know. If I wouldn't have had or just made that my priority, we could have, you know, lost everything. Now, and to get back with Darrin's situation, yes, whenever we did finally get the paperwork back from Ecuador, it was all in Spanish. So we did fortunately have...

Carrie McNulty (47:56)

Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

It could have looked very different. Yeah, it could have looked very different.

Melissa J Watters (48:20)

Lynsey's Spanish teacher helped us with translating it. And the diagnosis was absolutely not related to diabetes. It was more, it was the altitudes. He died from high altitude disease. He had pulmonary edema and that was fluid in your lungs and you get that from being in high altitude. So I'm not a super -sim but

Carrie McNulty (48:25)

Mm

Hmm.

yeah.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (48:50)

My house, of course, was a priority and I wanted to get at least my house paid for as far as with the insurance company because we had an accidental death policy on the house for the mortgage. Well, that didn't happen. So again, we ran around, ran into a lot of obstacles, but we were able to do it. And was it easy? No.

Carrie McNulty (48:58)

Mm

Mmm.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (49:20)

I wouldn't wish that on anybody as far as like, mean, I know money's not everything, but stability is and financially is part of stability. You know, that's all, I'm sorry, but we were able to do it and I am very fortunate. Like I said, we still have the house and yes, the cars are gone, but hey.

Carrie McNulty (49:30)

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm

Mm

Melissa J Watters (49:50)

you know, some things have to, you know, some things have to change because, you know, and that's, you know, I would tell, let's sort of tell whoever would come to me with this, I would say make your children a priority and get them the support maybe like I did. Again, I don't think my girls really benefited as much from that other than the fact that we were all together doing it. You know what I mean?

Carrie McNulty (49:53)

Some things do have to change, yeah, when something like that happens.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Melissa J Watters (50:21)

or, you know.

That's the whole thing is was being together and we all were suffering together and we were able to talk. That's the biggest thing. If you, okay, what's going on? mean, might even be something difficult that I don't want to hear. As you said, my mother -in -law just told you the way it was. Well, my youngest daughter is just the same way.

Carrie McNulty (50:31)

Mm

Mm

Yes.

Melissa J Watters (50:52)

She's a, and there's sometimes I didn't want to hear some of the things she said or there'd be some conflicts, but you know what? They've grown into amazing women and I couldn't be prouder of them.

Carrie McNulty (50:57)

Mm

True.

Yeah. And I bet you if I asked them, they'd say they couldn't be prouder of you.

Melissa J Watters (51:06)

So.

I would hope so, because I did. I did what I could for them.

Carrie McNulty (51:15)

Yeah. And you did an amazing job. And again, not knowing what you had in you. And it's funny how in a family, cycles can repeat, if you don't think, even if you think it's not going to have anything to do with you, you know, at one point you would have maybe looked at mom and saw her trying to take care of two kids on her own. And then your situation was nothing like that. And then all of sudden it was, you know, which is, is wild, right? It's totally wild. Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (51:36)

absolutely.

I never even thought about that, you're correct. I mean, she was. She was struggling raising two children. going back to that is I actually quit college to help with you guys. And would I change that? No, because I was like, you everybody says, well, are you going to go back? You know what? That wasn't my path after all. And that's the way it was.

Carrie McNulty (51:44)

Mm.

Mm

Help with us. -hmm. Yep.

That wasn't your path.

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (52:10)

But you're right, things do have a way of continuing and things work out.

Carrie McNulty (52:10)

Well.

It works out.

It's not like you said, easy things still come up that remind you of what you've lost. You still have days where it's harder. You wonder how you're going to pay for this or take care of that or do what, but you figure it out and you know, you make sure I love to hear that you're making yourself a priority because that's something that you deserve. And it really does make a difference too, because you do give and do for everybody else. And I'm glad to hear that you do that for you as well.

And especially because the girls are older, you know, they don't need, yeah.

Melissa J Watters (52:48)

Yeah. yeah, definitely. Definitely. I would have never thought to do any of that stuff when my kids were little. I mean, like I said, Lynsey was 17 and Courtney was 13. And Lynsey, you know, it was hard for Courtney because not only did, you know, if she loses her dad and, you know, we were kind of like struggling trying to figure that all out, but then not too much longer after that, her sister went off to college, you know, and wasn't here.

Carrie McNulty (52:54)

Mm

Mm

Mm

Mm

Yeah.

Melissa J Watters (53:18)

And so, yeah.

Carrie McNulty (53:19)

Yeah, yeah, they were all at different stages. But like you said, when Courtney was ready to go, Lynsey came back. And so, you you still have them with you. And now Courtney's living back here and living close by. And so everybody's together and it has worked out. It just, you know, I've always been impressed with the way that you did what you had to do. And you're right, we don't know what we're made of until we're forced to face it and to do what we have to do.

Melissa J Watters (53:25)

Right.

Right.

Carrie McNulty (53:47)

But boy, would have been nice if you wouldn't have had to do any of this.

Melissa J Watters (53:49)

absolutely.

Carrie McNulty (53:50)

I think, we're going to wrap it up here, but I do want to say thank you very much for coming on and telling your story. And I hope that it helped you, but also I hope that it helps other people too, who may have had loss, be it unexpected or expected and help them if they're earlier on in their journey, see that things can fall into place and can get better.

and the communicating about it and getting help and getting support is really important in that. So I love you and thank you. And I will.

Melissa J Watters (54:17)

Yes, a support system, absolutely.

you

Carrie McNulty (54:28)

most likely be back for another episode next week. I'm thinking about taking a little bit of a break for a little while from the podcast so that I can maybe get a few more guests lined up and things set up. And I'm hoping maybe in October to do a breast cancer awareness episodes and have some people on for that. So with that said, we're going to go ahead and sign off for this episode and hope everybody is well and takes good care of themselves.

Melissa J Watters (54:53)

Thank you.