Harnessing Courage: Laura Bratton's Journey with Vision Loss

In this episode of Carrie's Always Talking, Carrie speaks with Laura Bratton, who shares her profound journey of losing her sight due to a rare retinal disease. She discusses the emotional turmoil of denial and acceptance, the vital support from her family, and the importance of self-compassion and gratitude in navigating life's challenges. Laura emphasizes the significance of acknowledging grief while moving forward and how her experiences inspired her to write a book, 'Harnessing Courage,' aimed at empowering others facing change. Through her nonprofit, she continues to support individuals in their transitions, advocating for the recognition of grief in all forms and the power of resilience.

Laura's Website: 

https://www.laurabratton.com/

If you have a story you'd like to tell, send me an email at carrie.always.talking@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you.

You can also find me on Bluesky- @carrie-is-talking.bsky.social 

www.youtube.com/@carrie-always-talking

Transcript

Carrie McNulty (00:01)

Welcome back to Carrie's Always Talking. I'm your host Carrie McNulty. This is the podcast all about stories and connections. I believe that when people share their stories with one another, it's the main way we build empathy and humanity, which is something I think we need a lot more of in the world today. Today is episode eight of season two, and I do have another guest with me. Her name is Laura Bratton. And Laura was diagnosed with an eye disease.

the age of nine that led to her losing her sight. And she tells her story of what that experience was like, some of the emotional ramifications of that diagnosis. And then she also shares, the ways that she has worked to come to a place of acceptance and continuing to accept her situation. She wrote a book and it's called Harnessing Courage.

And she also founded an organization called UBI Global. And it's an organization that provides coaching and speaking to empower all people to overcome challenges and obstacles with grit and gratitude, which is something that she talks a lot about in the episode. So I think you'll really enjoy hearing her story today. I know I did.

As always, I'd to thank anybody who is listening. If you are new to the podcast, thank you for spending a little bit of time with us. If you are able to rate and review anywhere you're listening, I would appreciate that. And also, I'm going to ask again that if you are able and have the means that you join me in a monthly donation to your local food bank.

food insecurity is a real thing and I don't think anybody should have to go without basic necessities and food being one of them.

All of Laura's information will be in the show notes, so look for her website information there. And I'm going to go ahead and get us into our conversation. And I will talk to you all in another couple weeks.

Carrie McNulty (02:19)

Hi Laura, thank you so much for coming on the show.

Laura Bratton (02:22)

Hi, Carrie. Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

Carrie McNulty (02:25)

Yeah, I'm really excited for you to share your story with us. It sounds like when you were pretty young, you had the experience of starting to lose your sight. And I really think that what you're going to share with the audience is going to be pretty impactful and pretty meaningful. So I'm excited to hear your story.

Laura Bratton (02:35)

Yes.

So the major moment for me, life was normal, life was typical, outgoing, fearless child. Again, everything just quote typical, right? But the major moment for me that changed everything was when I was in middle school. So one day I'm sitting in geography class and the teacher

Carrie McNulty (02:58)

Thank

Laura Bratton (03:11)

as all my teachers had done previously said, you know, take out your notebook and start copying down the notes on the board. So I grabbed my notebook, I grabbed my pen, I looked up at the board and all I could see were these black blobs. It was just like fuzzy images. It wasn't numbers, it wasn't shapes. It just looked like blurry, fuzzy nothing. So I looked back down at my notebook

kind of adjusted my pen, looked back up at the board, and I still saw the same thing. So I thought, okay, it's something wrong with the notes, with the something that he's put up on the board. So I leaned over to my neighbor and just really not even thinking about it said, how are you copying down the notes on the board? Are you just writing down words that you know we're studying that we're going over right now? There's nothing, the print's not normal on the board.

without even thinking about her answer, she leaned over to me and just said, Laura the print looks completely normal. What are you talking about?

Carrie McNulty (04:21)

Hmm.

Laura Bratton (04:22)

And I still can remember just dropping my pen and sitting back on my chair. And that's when my new reality became absolutely real. earlier as a nine-year-old, I was diagnosed with a rare retinal eye disease. So basically the most simple form, and the way I can explain it, the cells in my retina were dying. At that time as a nine-year-old, all the doctors knew and could say was,

You will eventually lose your sight, but we don't know at what rate how fast. So fast forward to as a 14 year old at the end of middle school, I just lost a significant amount of sight. That's when literally my whole world changed.

Carrie McNulty (05:12)

So just randomly in class, getting ready to do what everybody else is doing, looked up and all of a sudden, yeah.

Laura Bratton (05:17)

Yes, yes,

because up until that point I had lost a small amount but it wasn't significant to that level. As long as I was close to things, it just held the book close to me, maybe had a magnifier, you know, I would just sit at the front of the room at classes and I was absolutely fine. So yeah, some minor loss but nothing significant like that event.

Carrie McNulty (05:46)

How did you carry on the rest of the day? What happened after that?

Laura Bratton (05:50)

So emotionally in the immediate days and weeks and months ahead, my emotional reaction, my first response was total denial. This is not happening. It's not that bad. I'm not like people say, ⁓ you're the blind girl. No, I'm not going blind. I'm just losing some vision. It was just complete denial. ⁓ I can pray and this will come back tomorrow. I can manifest and this will come back tomorrow.

It was that complete, by the time I get to high school, this will be all over. Once that denial wore off, the mindset, my reaction, my response was, I can't. This is too hard. I don't have the strength to do this. It's just, I can't. It's too much.

Carrie McNulty (06:41)

And so then how were people around you supporting you as you were going through this huge life change?

Laura Bratton (06:48)

That is the absolute gift. And that is the only way that I can't slowly transformed into, maybe I can live this life. So quick backstory to answer that question. The belief of the I can't and that just, don't have the strength, that led to so much anxiety and deep depression. So the anxiety were constantly manifested in constant panic attacks.

where the depression manifested in just deep, debilitating depression, the way I was able to move through that, the gift was the support around me. So as I'm anxious, as I'm depressed, as I'm overwhelmed with the future, every single day, my parents would say, Laura, we don't know what the future looks like for you. We will take it day by day by day and figure out each day.

So where I was shutting down, oh my gosh, how am gonna get through high school? How am I gonna graduate? How am I gonna go to college? How am I gonna have a career? All those big life questions. How do I do all this without sight? They were saying, okay, just figure out how today to get up, get dressed, get breakfast, and get to school on time. So that was one gift my parents gave me of taking it day by day by day. The other major gift they gave me was,

Carrie McNulty (08:03)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Bratton (08:14)

they didn't change their standards for me. Yes, they made accommodations, of course, where I needed it, but they didn't pity me. They didn't feel sorry for me. They didn't all of a sudden coddle me. And one perfect life example that I absolutely laugh at now, but at the time I said, oh my gosh, I have the meanest parents in the world. So one night in my brilliant teenage mind, because I'm in high school, I decided

Carrie McNulty (08:37)

Thank

Laura Bratton (08:44)

⁓ wait, I'm just gonna use this blindness to get out of all my chores at home. I thought it was a brilliant teenage idea, right? So my mom had said, all right, Laura, you need to unload the dishwasher. And that was one of my chores. I thought it was brilliant. And I said to her, ⁓ mom, you see, I can't unload the dishwasher anymore. I can't really see where to put the silverware in the silverware drawer. As an elementary teacher,

at end of a day of teaching. She was walking out of the kitchen and she turned around, she looked at me and in perfect Southern tone, teacher Southern tone, she said, Laura Bratton, unload the dishwasher and put the Sub-Aware in the Sub-Aware drawer. And she just walked away.

Carrie McNulty (09:33)

She's like, you know exactly where those things go. I know you remember.

Laura Bratton (09:36)

Exactly, exactly.

And in my mind again, I'm like, you are so mean. know? What I realized was that was the most compassionate, loving gift my parents gave me at that time because she taught me you can't use blindness as an excuse. You can't use blindness as a victim. You can't use blindness just to get out of what you don't want to do.

You just have to figure out a way to do it. And so, of course, did I unload the dishwasher? Absolutely. Did it take me longer? Was I slower? Of course. That wasn't the point. Yes, there definitely were some forks and spoons mixed up, but that was not the point. The point was she was teaching me in my teenage mind, that's not gonna work. That's not gonna work now. And we believe in you that you can still accomplish what...

the goals, whatever you want to accomplish. So keep going.

Carrie McNulty (10:38)

Yeah, don't limit yourself.

Laura Bratton (10:40)

Don't limit yourself, which is exactly what I was doing in my mind. So yes, that's how the I can't turned into I can't. And at that same time, I have a brother, one brother who's five years older, thankfully through their teaching and guidance, that was exactly how he treated me. He didn't start babying me and not like thinking I was some annoying sister that he just wanted to disappear. He just...

Carrie McNulty (10:43)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Bratton (11:08)

continue to treat me like that annoying little sister. And again, at that time, I'm like, you're the meanest brother in the world. But now every day still, I thank him. And he's like, I know it was so hard to do that at the time, but I knew it's what you needed. Because if I had babied you you would have expected everyone else in the world to baby you as you move forward. those are just two examples of through my parents, through my brother.

They gave me the foundation to realize just take it day by day by day and it is what it is. Grieve the loss and figure it out. Don't use the loss as an excuse.

Carrie McNulty (11:49)

I think that's such a powerful message, especially to get as a teenager ⁓ and then going through something so life changing like that. it's advice that would be applicable even if you hadn't been dealing with sight loss. But so much more so and the fact that they taught you how to take it step by step because it is so much ⁓ our way of when we're in a crisis thinking of how that's going to impact every big thing in our future.

Laura Bratton (11:53)

Yes.

Yes.

100%. Yes.

everything.

Carrie McNulty (12:16)

I hope you dial it back to let's just get our teeth brushed. Let's just yeah.

Laura Bratton (12:16)

Yes. Literally. Literally. Let's just figure out how to find the toothpaste, you know? Let's just get it down to basics. I mean, it was everyday thing like distinguishing the difference between orange juice and milk in the refrigerator, you know? I mean, there's everyday small things you don't think about until you're in those crisis moments.

Carrie McNulty (12:25)

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And what, like you said, what a gift to have the family that you have.

Laura Bratton (12:45)

Yes, I'm so deeply grateful that they were the foundation. So again, I'm still extremely anxious and depressed, yet that's what made the anxiety and depression a little bit less each day was as they just constantly held that foundation of, we believe in you day by day by day.

Carrie McNulty (13:09)

yeah, and they were the rudders and something that probably felt very turbulent for you.

Laura Bratton (13:11)

Yes, 100%.

Perfect, literally 100 % analogy. A rudder when I was completely stuck, they were the writer that taught me how to go forward in a completely different new way.

Carrie McNulty (13:20)

Yeah.

Wow. You know, we always hear, I mean, I'm a therapist, so I hear a lot from people about how maybe their parents weren't always the best match for them when they were growing up, but it's so wonderful to hear a story of somebody who ended up with just the right parents in just the right way. Yeah.

Laura Bratton (13:35)

Right.

Yes, yes.

And it was just an incredible, incredible support. Yeah. And again, my mom being a teacher, I know was such a gift because she just had that teacher mentality of, okay, you have to learn it. You have to learn a different way. The typical way of teaching a child doesn't work. have to just, it's not that you can't learn. It's just we have to do it in a different way. So that was an incredible

Carrie McNulty (14:07)

Yes.

Laura Bratton (14:09)

incredible gift of her being a teacher.

Carrie McNulty (14:12)

Right, and I mean you were special and are special I'm sure in a way you didn't want to be, you know? Yeah, the fact that she was a teacher was also a gift because you know teachers job is to help kids learn in the way that they can learn. ⁓ That's fantastic. I'm guessing that grief was still a reoccurring thing though throughout time.

Laura Bratton (14:17)

100 % yes.

Yes.

that they can learn. Yes. Yes.

Yes, a thousand percent and still is to this day. And I have to share a powerful conversation with a mentor. when I graduated from high school and was getting ready to start my freshman fall semester in college, a mentor of mine, I don't remember a while,

Carrie McNulty (14:42)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Bratton (14:59)

administrator at the college, I don't even remember why I was in her office, but at the end of our meeting she said, Laura, I just want to let you know you think you're done with this grieving You think you've you've through high school, you're over it, you've checked that box, you're now moving forward. I just want to let you know you will continue to grieve the rest of your life and that's not a weakness. That does not mean you

haven't accepted your blindness, it's just part of your new normal. And I just want you to know you can grieve and move forward at the same time. And that's not bad, that's just reality. And of course, again, in that 18 year old teenage mind, what do I think? Thankfully I didn't say it, but what do I think? no, I'm good. Now I'm gonna apply to everybody else.

Carrie McNulty (15:33)

Mm-hmm.

That's all.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Laura Bratton (15:57)

am totally good. I am done with grieving. I'm ready to move on and live life. We're good. The gift that she gave me that day was permission because she was totally right. In my mind, you grieve or you move forward. You don't do both. She gave me permission to do both and that actually is incredibly healing.

Carrie McNulty (16:14)

Mmm.

Yeah, grieving is not a step backwards at all, right? And it's dialectic. We do so many things that are opposing at the same time all the time.

Laura Bratton (16:30)

Right.

All of

it's right, 100%. And i agree I love how you said that. I haven't thought about that before. It's not a step backwards. Continuing to grieve actually allowed me to step forward and keep going.

Carrie McNulty (16:44)

Mm-hmm. ⁓

Yeah, because you needed to have the emotional release that you were feeling and then you could come up with how do I go from here? And I think what again, what a gift to have somebody say that. And I can so see an 18 year old hearing that and being like, OK.

Laura Bratton (16:51)

Right.

Right.

I

mean, just rolled thankfully not my not literally but I just rolled my eyes like that applies to everyone else in the world that you told that to but not me like I'm good. I've been through counseling. I am good. Thank you very much. But yes, it was such a gift and I just think about that conversation all the time because that's true. Yes, the grief is not near as intense.

Carrie McNulty (17:09)

Thank

Laura Bratton (17:29)

But I still agree with every day, gosh, this makes me sad or angry that this task is so much harder now that I can't see. And once I allow myself to feel that and grieve that, then I say, all right, what do I need to do to accomplish the task? So it's that both end at the same time. And if she had not told me that, I wouldn't have.

Carrie McNulty (17:50)

Yeah.

Laura Bratton (17:58)

done that. wouldn't have thought there's something wrong with me because I'm still grieving.

Carrie McNulty (18:04)

Well, right. I I think societally we're expected a lot of the time when something happens, even if we lose somebody close to us, that we get a couple of days to grieve that and then we're supposed to be okay. And grief doesn't work that way on anyone's timeline. So, you know, you, I'm guessing still face challenges from time to time, but like you said, cause you to think about what would it be like if I didn't have this obstacle in my way?

Laura Bratton (18:16)

Right, right, right.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Yeah, events happen every single day. You know, they just get frustrating like, ah, this will be so much easier. And you know, I remember how easy this task was, but I just think, all right, feel that and then keep going.

Carrie McNulty (18:40)

you

Yeah, yeah, compassion for yourself, that permission to have compassion for yourself.

Laura Bratton (18:51)

Yes. Yes,

100%. That's what she gave me is having that, knowing that self-compassion, just like I would give someone else a friend. I would never tell a friend who lost their sight, why are you so grieving? Get it together, girl. Never say that. You know, I would just, what can I do to help empower you? So being able to say that to myself is like, oh, okay, that's good.

Carrie McNulty (19:00)

Mm-hmm.

Right, get it together. You would not see that.

you talk a little bit. I know that you have a book, when did you write the book and what inspired that?

Laura Bratton (19:27)

So I published the book, it was published in 2016, and the reason behind that, the passion behind that, the drive behind that was exactly what we just talked about. Because I had the support that I had from, as I gave specific examples about my family, also just...

Carrie McNulty (19:40)

Mmm.

Laura Bratton (19:52)

teachers making accommodations, friends that just continue to treat me as their friends, you know, that we just enjoyed pizza together, you know, whatever it was. Because I had such a support, that empowered me to move forward and keep going and just be able to live a full life even through this traumatic life experience. So the passion, the drive to write the book is

Carrie McNulty (20:00)

you

Laura Bratton (20:19)

I wanted to be that support for other people. So that I didn't want to just say, okay, I received that support, great for me, end of story. I want to say, yes, I received that support. Now let me go and be it in this world. that was my deep drive. I wrote the book in such a way that it's not for people losing their sight. It's for all of us going through change.

I write it, obviously, from the perspective of losing my sight, but yet constantly talking about the grit and gratitude and turning around to, in your change, how does this apply? In your change, how do you accept the new normal? In your change, how do you offer that self-compassion to yourself? So my goal in writing the book was that people going through change...

can pick it up, read it, and have a resource, guide, as they navigate through so that change doesn't stop.

Carrie McNulty (21:24)

doesn't limit what they also can accomplish. And I don't think we said the name, the name is harnessing courage, just so.

Laura Bratton (21:27)

100%. Yes. Yes.

Harness and Courage and that

title, I'd love to share why I named it Harness and Courage. So that title is very, very specific. So I received, I've had two guide dogs. My first guide dog I got in that short time in between high school and college. And I had her for 11 years. And then I had my second one, ⁓ obviously, right after that. And then she just passed away a few months ago. So the harness,

Carrie McNulty (21:36)

⁓ please do!

Mm-hmm.

Laura Bratton (22:02)

is what goes around the dog and that I hold the handle of the harness as we walk together. you as the human are constantly holding the harness where the dog is about half a step in front of you, guiding you. So as a source of respect and gratitude for

For the courage that each of those dogs gave me to literally move forward, I wanted to honor them through the title. that's why I named it Harness and Courage, just to recognize every single day when I picked up that harness, it gave me the courage to move forward.

Carrie McNulty (22:45)

I love that so much. mean, first of all, huge dog lover, couldn't live my life without them. So just the idea that you wrote that to honor them, we want to cry. Well, especially since you just have a recent loss. So that's tough.

Laura Bratton (22:51)

Yes. I know I want to cry talking about it.

Right, right,

right.

They were such a gift. And yes, they physically gave me that courage, but also just the emotional courage they also gave me. Of course, that's not in the training, but that's just dogs, you know? That's just a gift they give us. Just that support that, okay, I'll keep going because you're unconditional love, you know? And just, you've given me such a gift.

Carrie McNulty (23:16)

Yes. Yes.

Laura Bratton (23:29)

to physically move forward, how can I not emotionally choose to move forward every day?

Carrie McNulty (23:32)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, wow. I love that. I love that you gave your dogs a shout out.

Laura Bratton (23:42)

Yes.

Oh, I had

to. I mean, they were so life-changing. I absolutely had to.

Carrie McNulty (23:50)

You talked about how you were able to move forward with everybody's support. What keeps you going now? Is it just the reminder that you have the people around you? You talk a lot about grit. And so I'm guessing that you have to have a lot of determination and grit still.

Laura Bratton (24:05)

So this, the answer perfectly connects with the guide dog. yes, I received so much support and yet there became a time where I realized, okay Laura, you've received so much support, but is now time that you accept that you embody this grit and gratitude for yourself. Yes, they can give it to you, but at some point you have to

Take the right, be that rudder just as you described, right? So for me, that moment, and this answers your question to today, that moment for me came as I'm receiving my first guide dog, you go to the guide dog school for a month to be trained with the dog. you're there a few days before you receive the dog. I'm sitting in my dorm room on campus. I'm all alone sitting on the edge of my bed. Again, I'm.

Carrie McNulty (24:35)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Bratton (25:01)

at this point, 18 years old, getting ready to go to college, just right around my school, they were in five or 10 minutes gonna open the door and bring in this black lab that was now gonna be my eyes, my guide dog. And I just sat there and that was the moment where I just said, okay, I'm getting ready to see my first guide dog. I've received all this support.

It's time I accept and embody and choose to move forward for myself. I shared that specific moment to say that was the moment where yes, I said, okay, I have to live and be this great and gratitude yet every single day I have to choose. Today, I choose to have the courage. Today, I choose to have the determination. So yes, I made that one

kind of decision that day sitting on my bed, yet the decision is every single day forward. Every single day now.

Carrie McNulty (26:08)

I think it's that way with acceptance too. I think we accept things over and over and over again. So I love to hear that you look at it as I choose this determination every day. I'm making this decision every day. What am I going to make of this?

Laura Bratton (26:11)

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes, yes,

yes, because that's giving me the control of my mindset, my emotions. I can't control losing my sight, but I can control my response.

Carrie McNulty (26:36)

And what you make and you it sounds like you've created quite a bit, Having written a book and you've started a nonprofit as well, right?

Laura Bratton (26:41)

Yes.

So through, yes, so through writing the book and creating the organization, through the speaking, the coaching with individuals, that passion is exact same that I shared the reason for writing a book. So the passion is my goal to be that guide, to be that support as people are going through change and loss. ⁓ I work with people going through death loss, but

Mostly what I do is non-death. people going through major either physical change or relational change or I work with a lot of athletes experiencing injury. And again, my whole goal, the whole drive, the passion is coming from, I want to be the support that I received. Because just as I was able to move forward with the resources, my goal is to empower others to also move forward.

as they navigate through the change. So the change doesn't just stop them and limit them.

Carrie McNulty (27:50)

right that they don't just define themselves as one thing and if that one thing changed.

Laura Bratton (27:53)

Right, define themselves by the loss. Yes.

Carrie McNulty (27:59)

when people think about grief, they think about just somebody passing away, but we grieve all kinds of things all the time. And so it sounds like your role is sort of walking people through their grief process and then helping them to figure out what they want to build next.

Laura Bratton (28:05)

Yes.

Yes, 100%.

Yes,

And also again, that permission that that mentor gave me, giving people permission to grieve. So many people will say to me, ⁓ I can't grieve. I didn't lose a loved one. No, but you just lost, you know, a job. You just lost something major in your life. So just giving the permission and to recognize, yes, that is intense grief. And that's okay to be an intense grief. Because a lot of people say,

Oh well, you I can't cry over that loss. It wasn't a loved one. Yeah, but it still a major, major loss for you at this time in your life.

Carrie McNulty (28:53)

Well, just the compassion to remind people that we've been taught not to take time to be upset or to grieve or the sign of weakness. Like what we said, it's really a sign of strength because that's we move through the emotion. ⁓ And to be able to give that to other people, I'm thinking also probably keeps filling your tank to keep doing. Yeah.

Laura Bratton (28:57)

Right. Right. Right. Yes.

⁓ Yeah, 100%. You

said it perfectly. As a ⁓ speech coach of mine said, it gives purpose to your pain. And I said, I loved that. I took 10 minutes to say that and she said it in one quick second. And I was like, yes, exactly, thank you. But it does. It gives my pain purpose that I give, as you said, it fills my cup to know I'm empowering other people just as I was empowered.

Carrie McNulty (29:23)

Right.

Well, and truly Laura, what you're talking about is something that I think we need a ton of right now because there is so much systemic change going on in the world and a lot of things to grieve. And so what you're offering is something quite special ⁓ and necessary.

Laura Bratton (29:50)

Yes. Change. Yes. Yes. Yes.

and we all experience it.

Carrie McNulty (30:01)

So what, we talk a lot about courage, but what do you define as courage?

Laura Bratton (30:09)

So I define courage as again the permission that mentor gave me. The courage to say I grieve my vision and I choose to receive the accommodations I can and move forward. So to me courage is acknowledging our difficulty and choosing to move forward. it's both at the same time. So for me it's

courageous to wake up and say, gosh, of course, I wish I had my sight, I wish I was back. Yet I am so thankful that I have a guide dog that helps me navigate the world. To me, that's courage, is acknowledging that loss while choosing the resources to move forward, whether that's physically, emotionally, just in our mindsets.

Carrie McNulty (30:48)

Yeah.

Well, yeah, sounds like it's allowing you to be part of you. talk a lot about parts work and therapy. That's what I do with people. So there's part of you that still holds onto the grief and remembers what life was like when you were excited. And then part of you that's sort of reaching your hand out for what's coming forward and take resources that are available to you to make that happen. Yeah.

Laura Bratton (31:07)

Yes.

Yes, yes, right.

⁓ 100%. Yes. Perfectly said. Yes. Good job, therapist. Thank you.

Carrie McNulty (31:28)

What's something that you would say to somebody that either comes and reaches out to you because they want to receive coaching and support or just somebody who's listening that might be going through a life transition right now and isn't sure where to start?

Laura Bratton (31:43)

the first thing I would say is acknowledge, give yourself the space to acknowledge the difficulty. I didn't do that in the beginning and that would have helped so much with my healing. I was so overwhelmed and depressed and just, okay, how do I move forward? I didn't stop and say, wow, this is really, really hard. Let me just acknowledge what is, right?

Losing your sight is difficult. So I would say to anyone listening, going through any type of big, small change, big change, acute change, long-term change, whatever type, give yourself the acknowledgement and the compassion. Just say, this is hard and I don't want to be going through this, because it's acknowledging what is gives us so much power. Then once you acknowledge what is, again, just like my parents gave me,

Take it day by day, hour by hour, and I mean that literally. That's not just a cliche. I mean, it is a common cliche, but I mean that literally. Like, give yourself, if you get from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m., be so proud of yourself and know that's enough for the whole day. No matter what happens the rest of the day, you got through the first hour of the day, that's enough.

Carrie McNulty (32:52)

That's also true.

Laura Bratton (33:11)

Because that's one thing I recognize myself and in so many people I work with, it always feels like it's never enough. Well, I didn't accomplish enough for today. I wasn't strong enough for today. So that would be my advice is acknowledge the difficulty and then just take it moment by moment, day by day, literally breath by breath and know that's okay. That's not a weakness. That's enough.

Carrie McNulty (33:22)

Mm.

I think that's really wonderful advice to give to people to slow down and try to start using some acceptance. I just, there's part of me that feels like I have to say, to be fair, you were pretty young and it would be very hard to snap into acknowledging.

Laura Bratton (33:46)

Yes.

Yes. Acknowledging,

And so that's something I have to remind myself even of today. If it's been a difficult day or just like this intense grief period of with my guide dog just a few months ago, the original week's days after she died, you know, my mindset would instantly go to, I need to be doing something different. No, I just have to stop myself and say no and offer do exactly what I'm saying here.

give myself that compassion and say, you just basically lost your eyes that you've had for 11 years. Acknowledge that loss and then what do you need to do to breathe the next 10 minutes? So again, this advice is something I have to remind myself of still constantly.

Carrie McNulty (34:39)

what a sweet and special and also multi-layered relationship with the dog. Yes, was your eyes, but I'm guessing also your best friend. I think giving yourself as much space as you need to and reminding yourself it's okay.

Laura Bratton (34:45)

Yes, yes, absolutely.

It's okay.

And it's okay if I only feel like, my gosh, I can only survive the next five minutes. You know, that's okay. And so that would be, I would just love for listeners to take that away. Is that's okay that you got through one moment or 12 moments or two moments? Know that that's enough. That trust that that's enough for today.

Carrie McNulty (35:17)

Yeah. Yeah. Kindness.

Laura Bratton (35:21)

Kindness, yeah. Yes,

perfect word that we never use.

Carrie McNulty (35:24)

No, we never, and

especially not directed at ourselves, I think sometimes we can be so harsh because we feel like if we do that, that's gonna motivate us to do something different. And it usually just makes us feel worse. So I love that you're like, celebrate making it for the first hour in the morning. That's a win.

Laura Bratton (35:33)

Right, right, right, right. ⁓ Yes, yes. And that's

a win for the day. Absolutely, absolutely.

Carrie McNulty (35:45)

Is there anything that we didn't get a chance to talk about that you wanted to share or that you wanted to talk about or any other stories?

Laura Bratton (35:52)

So ⁓

Carrie McNulty (35:57)

Hahaha

⁓

Hmm.

Laura Bratton (36:21)

said to me, Laura, I want you to start writing down every day three events, people, places, just three things, situations from that day that you're grateful for. And I want to make sure that you don't repeat every day so that they're very specific from that day. Well, again, just like that mentor in college, thankfully I didn't say what I was thinking in my head. In my head I'm thinking, you are a terrible mentor.

Carrie McNulty (36:50)

you

Laura Bratton (36:51)

And you

do not need to be working with teenagers because there I was so still so depressed panic attacks Constantly and she's telling me to be grateful I thought that is a terrible idea and have nothing to be grateful for So in my teenage stubbornness, what did I do? I was determined to prove her wrong

So I said again in my head, thankfully, okay, I will start doing this because I can't do this because I have nothing to be grateful for and I'm going to teach her a lesson. I started right down and the one day became three days and the three days became a week and the week became two weeks and I slowly realized what she was teaching me. I thought she was saying

Laura, wake up and be grateful that you're blind. Wake up and be grateful that you're going through this major life transition. What she was teaching me was to wake up and say, no, I'm not thankful to be blind. I am thankful to wake up and have parents that believe in me and are continuing to hold the same standards. No, I'm not thankful to wake up and be blind, but I'm thankful to have a guide dog that helps me navigate this world.

She was teaching me gratitude is not being thankful in general for anything and everything. Gratitude is being thankful for what helps me navigate through the change.

When I realized that perspective, I can't put into words how it shifted my daily mindset. It was absolutely life-changing because again, it allowed me to say, yes, I'm not grateful for this, yet I'm so grateful. It gave me that perspective of focusing on what I was thankful for, what helped me get through the day.

Carrie McNulty (39:00)

you're so right. Gratitude really is what we notice that helps us survive when we're having a really hard time. I love how you said that.

Laura Bratton (39:05)

Yes. Yes. Yes.

And that is a mental game changer. For me, that was a mental mindset game changer.

Carrie McNulty (39:19)

And so is that something you still do?

Laura Bratton (39:22)

my gosh, every single moment is how I not survive every day is now just incorporate. It's so in the fabric about being how to do it and don't even realize I'm doing it. where she invited me to start writing down the three things, now I don't at the end of the day, don't think about write down things I'm afraid before. It's just incorporated to my everyday mindset. So I just constantly recognize.

Carrie McNulty (39:34)

Hmm.

Laura Bratton (39:50)

Gosh, I'm thankful to have technology allows me to get on Riverside in an accessible way. I am so thankful that I can get on LinkedIn like everyone else. I'm thankful that my Instapot, I can work it on my iPhone and it's accessible. You know, so all those daily events. I'm so thankful for Siri, for Alexa, right?

Carrie McNulty (40:01)

Yeah.

That's awesome.

Yeah

Laura Bratton (40:19)

Like

those that rather than taking it for granted, recognizing I am so grateful those are tools I can use to accomplish life without sight. So yes, I absolutely use it every day, all day, constantly.

Carrie McNulty (40:37)

And that's another thing that's helped you to keep moving forward and navigating.

Laura Bratton (40:41)

Yes,

the combination, the grit of literally taking it day by day with the balance of being grateful that I can use my Instant Pot, be grateful that I can access Siri, that balance of taking it day by day while being grateful, that's the healing resource. That has been the foundation that has allowed me to continue forward.

Carrie McNulty (41:09)

all these things fit so beautifully together and the way you're sharing the message fits so beautifully together.

Laura Bratton (41:15)

And that's been

my lived experience. And that's been the gift. that's my drive as I speak to groups, to organizations, and work with people individually. That's the drive is how do they also apply this balance of gratitude in their change and their loss in their time of transition.

Carrie McNulty (41:39)

And I'm guessing that this has been pretty helpful for people, you know, so it's wonderful that you have your life experience and without what you decided to do is give back.

Laura Bratton (41:48)

Yes. Yes, ranked. All empowerment. That is

the goal. Yes.

Carrie McNulty (41:54)

I just am very grateful that you came on to share your story because I think it's fantastic ⁓ what you're doing. And Laura's organization is called UB Global. And I'll be sure to link these things in the show notes so people can check out your website.

Laura Bratton (42:11)

Great. Great. Yeah, it's all on the website. The book, The Coaching the Speaking is all there.

Carrie McNulty (42:17)

Laura, I want to thank you again for coming on and talking and just sharing a little bit of what it's been like for you to have such a big change.

Laura Bratton (42:26)

Absolutely.

Thank you for the platform and the opportunity, the space that you're creating.

Carrie McNulty (42:33)

Absolutely. Well, for everybody listening, I will be back in another couple of weeks with another episode. And until then, everybody take care of yourselves and everybody else around you and be well.